Gemma Hills | About - Gemma Hills
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ABOUT ME

“I am Gemma and I work with mums helping their children overcome bullying and thrive.”

“I’m not a therapist or bullying expert. I’m a mum who successfully helped my daughter deal with bullying and I can help you to do the same.”

 

I’ve been where you are now. My daughter was socially, emotionally, verbally and physically bullied at the age of nine.

 

It’s so difficult to get the support and guidance you need when you’re dealing with bullying. I hate the thought of any family having to deal with the torture of bullying alone, so The Anti Bullying Mum was created.

 

During the four years I worked for Family Lives (a national helpline previously known as Parentline and Bullying UK) I spoke with hundreds of mums contending with apparently unhelpful schools and rapidly deteriorating children. This spurred me on to use my experience with bullying, alongside my training and time on the helpline, to create The Anti Bullying Mum.

Gemma Hills - The Anti-Bullying Mum
I HAVE WORKED TO...
  • Successfully guide my daughter in dealing with bullying
  • Create strong relationships with my girls (so I don’t spend my time worrying if they’re ok)
  • Guide hundreds of parents through the battle-field of bullying.
I BELIEVE...
  • Mums are powerful and have the power to heal
  • If you help a mother you’re helping her whole family (as well as everyone else she supports!)
  • That when you act on instinct you’ll always get it right.
I’m on a mission to empower families to no longer live in fear.
Come with me. Be a part of this.
Let’s make change together.

MY STORY

BACK THEN

I felt I had failed by not being able to protect my daughter. I blamed myself, ‘I should have known what to do and how to protect her’, but I didn’t. I was drowning in emotion and it was preventing me from thinking clearly. I was acting on impulse in desperate attempts to stop the agony of witnessing my daughter rapidly deteriorate into half the person she was before.

 

I was a lioness protecting her cub, but unlike a lioness I wasn’t able to charge at the predator and tear them limb by limb.

 

So what could I do?

I pleaded with her teachers, the parent of the child doing the bullying, and asked friends and family for suggestions, but it made no difference.

 

Even during the less intense bullying we were left reeling from the experience. Anxiety became a normal part of our lives. Not taking risks or trying anything new became a part of who we were.

 

I was left beating myself up over not acting sooner, not knowing how to stop it sooner, not preparing her enough to deal with people like this, not pushing the teachers to do more to help – failing.

 

I progressively felt more and more overwhelmed and worn down. It began to effect my relationships. I felt judged. I became defensive. Anxiety, anger, disappointment, resentment and fury were my everyday companions.

 

I couldn’t find any real support and advice that didn’t leave me feeling powerless and terrified. I wanted to know what we could do to turn the situation around, and in ways that lasted. I didn’t want us to ever be in this position again. The helpful advice I did find was spread far and wide. It took a long time to collect enough pieces of the puzzle to get an idea of the full picture.

 

Once we knew the steps to take the bullying stopped, and it didn’t start again.

 

During my time working for Family Lives, I heard from hundreds of mums like you, in the same position I was in. I was limited on the helpline, sometimes one phone call isn’t enough. I know that as parents we need on-going support and guidance. (It’s damn hard to remember what to do when you’re overwhelmed with emotion and desperate to fix it, we need reminders.) And so The Anti Bullying Mum was born.

 

The Anti Bullying Mum provides you with all the pieces of the puzzle, without you having to struggle to collect them, because you’ve already got enough on your plate!

WHAT I LEARNT
  • That whether you are working with a child to prevent or overcome bullying, or maybe your experience of being bullied as a child still effects you now, the answer is the same – empowerment.

 

  • That bullying does not represent failure. In fact it’s an opportunity to empower your child and shift anything that is holding them back.

 

  • No one knows a child better than his/her parents, and no one has the strength to protect their child better than they do.

 

  • The fear and disempowerment caused by bullying creates a cycle of more fear and disempowerment. We need to break the cycle.

 

 

I know there is no better feeling than your child being happy. There’s no other person on this planet that can make you blissfully happy just by being happy themselves. And just because they are who they are, your child is also the one person that can make you feel the most desperate, panicked and enraged you’ll ever feel. Not because of something they do to you but because of something that has happened to them.

NOW
  • My daughters are thriving.

 

  • They still encounter unhappy people that are intent on making others unhappy, but now we know how to deal with it.

 

  • I trust my own judgement. When I feel something’s not right I act on that. I spend less time looking to others for the answers.

 

Never again will we reach those depths of desperation as a result of someone else’s behaviour.

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